All my life, I have been a miserable failure. I only started seeing massive success some 6 years ago, and my success started gathering storm in 2014.Maybe I haven’t been a failure all my life anyway. Maybe it’s just in my head that for a long time, I was a failure.
Who is a failure? Who defines who a failure is?
Society says if you drop out of school, then you are a failure.
Society says, if your marriage breaks up, no matter the reason, then you are a failure.
Society if your child turns out a black sheep, no matter your efforts and sincere desires, then you’re a failure.
Society says, if your business fails and you go broke, then you’re a failure.
Society says a lot of things.
So parents push their children hard at school, and berate them for not coming top of the class. “Does John Doe who came first in your class have two heads?”
The Church chastises you for not ‘following’ the Bible to the letter. “You’re going to hell!” they say.
“You can’t apply for this job”, employers say, “you don’t qualify.”
This happens because for years and years, hundreds, even thousands of years, society has shaped the human construct of what failure and success is. Who qualifies and who does not. Who should get what and shodn’t.
And throughout all of this time, society was shaped by religion. Religion itself is something a bunch of guys came together and decided, “Hey, here’s how we’re going to worship this Supreme beign.”
Now nobody wants to ‘fail’. Everybody wants to ‘succeed’.
But what is success? And most importantly, WHAT IS FAILURE?
I will tell you what I have come to realize after years of struggling with this thought.
Success and failure is what YOU think and believe it is.
I once ran a survery back in 2009 asking my subscribers how much they would earn per month which would in their own thinking be a really desirable income goal?
Guess what the majority said, =N=100,000.
I ran the same survey in 2015, 6 years later and guess what the answer was? Still, =N=100,000.
The difference for me, is when I ran the survey in 2009, the results upset me. I kept thinking, “Are these folks that small minded? they don’t want to do better than =N=100,000” a month?
When I ran it last year and got the same results, this time, it pleased me.
For 2 reasons.
1. Now instead of spending time vexing on people’s behalf about what they want for themselves, I now have a threshold where if I can take them to with my coaching and products, and know they will be happy.
2. Over the years, I realized that no one, not your parents, your friends, your church, your country or your coach – as in me – can project and infuse in you what success is. Or failure for that matter.
Whatever success or failure is, is what you think and believe it is.
You think, =N=100,000 a month income is success? Then it is for you! The moment you no longer think it is, then you can set a new figure about what a decent income and that will be your new standard for income success.
You are free to change your notion of what success and failure mean, ANYTIME YOU WANT.
Once you realize this, your chains are broken. The limitations in your mind disappear. You suddenly get a new zest for life and a new gumption for breaking all barriers surfaces in your mind.
Now you see failure as just a stumbling block.
Think about this: when a baby is born, what does it do?
First it learns to squat/sit, then it learns to stand, then it learns to walk, and finally, it learns to run. And each time it fail at any of these, you see a baby do it again and again, knowing full well they just may fall down with each new try. Still they do it. Until they get the hang of it.
Babies, don’t give up and say, “Shit, I tried to sit down and I can’t, so I am giving up on running. I don’t want to grow up anymore.”
No baby, no matter how many gene researchers modify will go from sitting to running.
They go through the process, no matter how many times they try and fail, they try again and again until they master each stage of infancy growth development.
It’s the same thing with business.
When you’re brand new to business, you will encounter stumbling blocks. You will fail. You know why? Because you’re trying to do something you haven’t done before!
And no matter how many books you read, how many courses you buy and how many coaching sessions you pay for, when you get started in the real world, you will encounter hiccups.
Because the real world is unpredictable – the autoresponder company you read about in the book, could have folded up by the time you get started, Facebook may have banned the adverts of the item you wanted to sell a week before you start, what you thought would cost $300, is now $700 because the CBN devalued the naira yesterday etc.
The materials you consume is to help you avoid making a complete mess of the effort. And surely, there will be some mess. But you don’t quit because of the mess. You look at it, like a baby does, and try again.
How fast you master each stage of your business development depends on your personality, how fast you have have trained your brain to bounce back after a hiccup, and how long you can persevere on a cause you believe in.
See? It all depends on you – what you think failure is, what you think success is, and the results you get from either.
Quit trying to alter the natural progression of growth. Accept that on this business journey, you will encounter failure, people will make promises they won;t keep (and it’s not because they are bad, sometimes, things just don’t work out as planned), adverts won’t perform, etc, etc.
Once you accept it before hand. Your mind is prepared for when anything eventually happens.
It’s all in your head. Be like a baby. Give yourself permission to fail.